Hell in a handbasket? You decide...
In response to my suggestion that my two friends deserve to be sent to a place of eternal torment - for eternity - I received this reply:
That is so Calvinist, [Wiseclam]- - and oh so true. We all deserve God's rightful wrath so much, yet for some inexplicable reason, God has chosen to pre-ordain that certain people will be saved. Others are absolutely f*cked
- - right out of the chute! That's what I really like about Calvinism - - it takes all the pressure off - - if you're doomed you're doomed, nothing you can do about it and if you're not, then great news - - you can't lose it! Free Pass City versus Eternal Divine Sodomizing.
[IOTAJAR], I think your notion of Hell is vastly different from mine. You seem to envision a lot of horrible torment and constant rending torture. I see Hell more as a series of never-ending disappointments.
Hell Day 1:
You're supposed to go to Elitch Gardens all day but on the way there, your bus breaks down outside the gates. You have to stay with the bus while a guy slowly repairs the engine while you watch the people having fun at the park. To make up for your having missed the fun all day your guardian demon tells you that you'll get ice cream after supper - - and then forgets to give it to you.
Hell Day 2:
You are awakened to a phone call from the front desk. "Please hang around your room from eight until noon - - someone's coming by to install cable TV." You wait all day around the room, missing the rumba lessons, coke floats at lunch, and afternoon story time. About 5:30 a guy comes by to install cable but finds out he needs an adapter. He says he'll call you back later in the week to reschedule.
Hell Day 3:
Your guardian demon tells you excitedly that you're going to get a new neighbor moving in across the hall - - "I think it's a former stripper".
Later that day, Rush Limbaugh moves in across the hall. He leaves his front door wide open and you note with a wave of disgust that he's doing a slow-motion strip tease while looking in your direction.
Hell Day 4:
You're told after breakfast that you're going to get a new Sony Play Station 'right after morning vespers'. Later that afternoon, someone finally comes around and delivers a 1986-vintage Atari pong machine - - it's preloaded with only one game - - the Micro Saint / Atari Fishing Simulator.
That's what Hell is like my friend!
[Lover of OLAS]
That is so Calvinist, [Wiseclam]- - and oh so true. We all deserve God's rightful wrath so much, yet for some inexplicable reason, God has chosen to pre-ordain that certain people will be saved. Others are absolutely f*cked
- - right out of the chute! That's what I really like about Calvinism - - it takes all the pressure off - - if you're doomed you're doomed, nothing you can do about it and if you're not, then great news - - you can't lose it! Free Pass City versus Eternal Divine Sodomizing.
[IOTAJAR], I think your notion of Hell is vastly different from mine. You seem to envision a lot of horrible torment and constant rending torture. I see Hell more as a series of never-ending disappointments.
Hell Day 1:
You're supposed to go to Elitch Gardens all day but on the way there, your bus breaks down outside the gates. You have to stay with the bus while a guy slowly repairs the engine while you watch the people having fun at the park. To make up for your having missed the fun all day your guardian demon tells you that you'll get ice cream after supper - - and then forgets to give it to you.
Hell Day 2:
You are awakened to a phone call from the front desk. "Please hang around your room from eight until noon - - someone's coming by to install cable TV." You wait all day around the room, missing the rumba lessons, coke floats at lunch, and afternoon story time. About 5:30 a guy comes by to install cable but finds out he needs an adapter. He says he'll call you back later in the week to reschedule.
Hell Day 3:
Your guardian demon tells you excitedly that you're going to get a new neighbor moving in across the hall - - "I think it's a former stripper".
Later that day, Rush Limbaugh moves in across the hall. He leaves his front door wide open and you note with a wave of disgust that he's doing a slow-motion strip tease while looking in your direction.
Hell Day 4:
You're told after breakfast that you're going to get a new Sony Play Station 'right after morning vespers'. Later that afternoon, someone finally comes around and delivers a 1986-vintage Atari pong machine - - it's preloaded with only one game - - the Micro Saint / Atari Fishing Simulator.
That's what Hell is like my friend!
[Lover of OLAS]
posted by wiseclam at 7:15 AM
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